Steps Backward

Cayden,
We went to see your birth mother on Christmas. While you were pleasant and nice during the visit the after math was much more than I planned. Panic attack after panic attack filled the drive home from Salt Lake. Listening to you cry yourself to sleep while I held you was too much for me to handle. The gift that she gave you should be a favorite of yours but you refuse to touch it, you won't look at it, in fact you've put it in your closet under your shoes so you don't see it. I've done my best to allow you to know your birth mother but it's affected you in a negative way that I can't allow. My job as your mother is to protect you. So I'm going to do what needs to be done to protect you. I hate having to cut contact completely but it doesn't do any good for you. And I only want what is best for you. I love you more than anything else in life and will do what is best for you.
Love Mommy